So… Hello again?

Been aaaages since I updated.

long story, don’t think you all really want to read it. you know how much I ramble on anyway.

Short version.

– joined a new small group, it’s great! getting to know people who are new to the church, great for establishing new friendships. But still feeling very distant. Please pray for growing friendships.

– settling into church well, thanks to small groups/community groups (CGs), even though I am always tempted to just continue calling it RML for no good reason!!

– got a great opportunity to make use of my art skills; I’ve joined the church flyer making team! Every sermon series we print postcard sized flyers that are easy to give away. We aim to make them attractive, clear, clean cut, and accessible to non-christians. This is so we can invite our friends to church more easily. Such a sweet idea!

– saw a psychiatrist. doing ok. just need a little help with aftercare and management.. all that stuff.

– got a part time job. feeling weird some days.. not just awkward, but as if a part of me is threatening to scream in the back of my head. the dr. said it’s because i’ve shut myself away from things for too long, and my mind would like to keep it that way thank you very much. So when I try and go outside and do things that are good for me, occasionally I have a bit of a scream in the back of my head. So nobody else hears.

– my CG is great, we have a whatsapp group and encourage each other throughout the day, with articles, or thoughts, or questions. Really enjoying the fellowship with my new found brothers and sisters.

– I’m trying to reset my sleep and it’s 3AM. not really doing what the psych said when she gave me sleeping pills to help reset the schedule. PANTS. anyway.

– made a new blog: http://afrequentsadness.wordpress.com to share some of my depression doodles. tempted to do more setting up now. But I’m going to be good and sleep. Even though I know I’ll lose the motivation to update the new blog once the new day comes. So maybe this will make me want to try a bit harder. or something. words evade me. i’m not eloquent at all today. Today is a image day. visual day.

feeling less lost in my country.

still very, very lost in the world. bombarded by images and ideas of what the world wants you to be.

and as always, tempted to be worldly. God’s opinion matters the most. Whether Jesus comes back to claim me.. matters the most. That I seek a life to serve God, despite my human reluctance… matters the most.

Sin makes me hate serving God. I’d rather serve myself. That’s sin. God, help me turn back to you.

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2 thoughts on “So… Hello again?

  1. Find singing quite helpful to express my mood. I find Sovereign Grace Music’s ‘Come Weary Saints’ really helpful. Here is a song called ‘I have a Shelter’. Look it up. E
    VERSE 1
    I have a shelter in the storm
    When troubles pour upon me
    Though fears are rising like a flood
    My soul can rest securely
    O Jesus, I will hide in You
    My place of peace and solace
    No trial is deeper than Your love
    That comforts all my sorrows
    VERSE 2
    I have a shelter in the storm
    When all my sins accuse me
    Though justice charges me with guilt
    Your grace will not refuse me
    O Jesus, I will hide in You
    Who bore my condemnation
    I find my refuge in Your wounds
    For there I find salvation
    VERSE 3
    I have a shelter in the storm
    When constant winds would break me
    For in my weakness, I have learned
    Your strength will not forsake me
    O Jesus, I will hide in You
    The One who bears my burdens
    With faithful hands that cannot fail
    You’ll bring me home to heaven
    © 2008 Integrity’s Hosanna! Music/Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP)/Integrity’s Praise! Music/Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

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