Wooo another blog for my friends who don’t actually mind hearing a blow by blow account of my life 😉
I attended my first ever small group for bible study on Friday last week, and was elated and humbled in equal measure. My group (it feels so weird and great to be saying that!) consists of mostly girls (there are three boys including Paul who is one of the leaders). We are studying Mark, and are at chapter 12 (wow I have missed a lot) I was really anxious about attending small group – so anxious that I got the day wrong and went on Thursday (thinking it was a Friday)! But once we got started on reading the passage and studying it together, I was no longer anxious, and felt really happy talking about the passage. One thing that was a bit awkward was that I talked a lot more than my group mates.. I think I need to learn to keep quiet and let others answer first. The group was welcoming and friendly, and it wasn’t just me talking (but I did talk a lot..).
It was a humbling experience because I had forgotten quite a lot of what I had learned from Mark, and still find some of the language confusing. (We were doing the Sadduccees questioning Jesus all the way to the offering of the poor widow.) It was really interesting to see that although Jesus clearly pronounced judgement on the scribes and teachers of the law who bullied the people and misused their authority, he did not actually say anything about the widow – whether she was saved or not. But the main point was that Jesus knew the scriptures best, and had more authority than the religious teachers of the law. The application was to not be like the teachers of the law who looked only to “knowing lots” and “looking awesome” as their way to heaven. In other words for us modern day Christians – to not just rely on our own (small) knowledge of the bible and to think that we know everything. Also, that it’s not all about attendance at church or small groups.
I got to know Michelle and Darren cos I sat between them. I found out that Darren was an art teacher. We got talking about art after the study – and he was able to give me more ideas about where I might be able to further develop my skills. It feels weird having so many girls in a group – despite the fact that I did lead an all girls group last year!! I think it’s because the girls in my group didn’t talk about dresses or outfits as much.. (I miss my overview group!). Michelle really made an effort to talk to me after the study as we all walked to the MRT together, so I didn’t feel so sticky-outy aloney.
It was also really nice to turn up to church on Sunday, and have people at my small group waving to me, and saying hi. I also sat next to Margaret again (girl I met last last week), and really feel like I am actually making friends. Sonja (staff member) called me asking if I wanted to go home together, which was a shame because I was having dinner with another friend. It’s really nice to have a friend to go home with, and hopefully we can travel home together next week.
and YES! after about a month of deliberating and procrastinating, I have finally submitted my job application for the position of a Science Educator at the Science Centre. (It’s kinda like the Natural History Museum and the Science Museum rolled into one). I really hope to get it as it seems like there is a lot of scope in the job, such as workshops and taking visitors round, and even helping to curate exhibits which sounds really exciting! My mum says that this seems like a very short career ladder that I’m climbing.. so whilst I’m looking out for other opportunities, I hope to be able to show her that it’s not about climbing the career ladder. This is an issue that does make me very angry because sometimes I think my mum thinks more about money (she is a Christian). I know she is worried about my future and living in Singapore is very expensive – so I will try my best, but also trust that as I take steps forward, God is opening and closing the doors to guide me.
– That I will settle well in my small group – and learn to take my turn when speaking up so that others have a chance to say something.
– That I will get the job (pleasepleaseplease!!!!!) but also, if I don’t, that I will have a right attitude and keep applying for other jobs. Because God knows best!
– That I will not be disheartened by rejection